Before we depart to get Sitota, (soon, oh, please, soon...) I want to remember and reflect on our August trip.
We left Boston on Saturday afternoon, and arrived at the guest house on Sunday night. We got a few hours of sleep and went downstairs for breakfast. There we met some other people who would prove to be huge sources of comfort from that point forward. The "other families."
We climbed into the back of a van, maybe 12 of us, (including 2 girls who were on their way back to the care center because their parents were heading back to America to await their Embassy date). As we rode the 30 minutes to the care center. I had ants in my pants, so anxious was I to fast forward. It took so long. A long 30 minutes. We stopped on the side of the road and bought a goat for lunch. We rode with the very-much-alive goat in the way-back of the van. It was completely surreal.
Finally, we pulled up to the iron gate that separated us from Sitota. Our new friends had already been with their children. They literally cleared a path for us (and our goat friend) to get into the care center.
1 year and 10 months had passed. I am not sure I was breathing as I ducked beneath the many clothes lines that criss-crossed the courtyard. I didn't know where to go. I greeted the nannies and finally one of the women with us said, "she'll be in here."
And I looked up. Through the window, through the steel bars, and into Sitota's sweet but uncertain face.
The door opened and I knelt down before her. And she looked at me. She closed the distance between us. And she kissed me. I swear I died a little bit right then. My careful restraint left me. I dumped my bags and my jacket and I finally held my punk. I walked with her, I rocked her, I rubbed her head and stared in her eyes and I kissed her temple a million times. And she let me.
I have no idea what I said. That I missed her and that I loved her and that I was her Mama. Rob was right there at my shoulder and we were in our own little world. I was completely oblivious to the goat (AKA lunch), being prepared in the courtyard. I was oblivious to everything.
I don't know how to explain the fact that Sitota came right to me. Maybe the nannies bribed her. Maybe she thought I was someone else. Maybe... well, I don't know. But she couldn't have remembered me from nearly 2 years earlier. It couldn't have been a sweeter moment. Burned into my memory, for sure.
Soon after, we offered her the cute little doll and baby blanket we'd brought for her- but she pushed it aside. We brought out the photo album we made for her. Page by page we went through. Pictures of me of Rob of the 3 sibling punks. Pictures of me holding Sitota when she was only 11 months old. We went through them time after time. She ran to show her friends. She looked with the nannies. She wouldn't put it down.
She was friendlier with me than with Rob that 1st day. She was fairly cautious. The nannies wanted so much to encourage the bond that they bribed her. "Give your Mama a hug and I'll give you some candy." Bless them, they wanted to be helpful. We were able to assure them that we were 100% ok with her hesitancy. We tried to be careful not to push her, and we drank in what she was willing to give. We were just so happy to be together.
I think that night we went out for a traditional Ethiopian dinner. I think we skyped with the 3 kids at home. It was a near perfect day, goat and all.
I know I didn't sleep much anticipating our court appointment the following morning, and replaying every interaction with my daughter.
We left Boston on Saturday afternoon, and arrived at the guest house on Sunday night. We got a few hours of sleep and went downstairs for breakfast. There we met some other people who would prove to be huge sources of comfort from that point forward. The "other families."
We climbed into the back of a van, maybe 12 of us, (including 2 girls who were on their way back to the care center because their parents were heading back to America to await their Embassy date). As we rode the 30 minutes to the care center. I had ants in my pants, so anxious was I to fast forward. It took so long. A long 30 minutes. We stopped on the side of the road and bought a goat for lunch. We rode with the very-much-alive goat in the way-back of the van. It was completely surreal.
Finally, we pulled up to the iron gate that separated us from Sitota. Our new friends had already been with their children. They literally cleared a path for us (and our goat friend) to get into the care center.
1 year and 10 months had passed. I am not sure I was breathing as I ducked beneath the many clothes lines that criss-crossed the courtyard. I didn't know where to go. I greeted the nannies and finally one of the women with us said, "she'll be in here."
And I looked up. Through the window, through the steel bars, and into Sitota's sweet but uncertain face.
The door opened and I knelt down before her. And she looked at me. She closed the distance between us. And she kissed me. I swear I died a little bit right then. My careful restraint left me. I dumped my bags and my jacket and I finally held my punk. I walked with her, I rocked her, I rubbed her head and stared in her eyes and I kissed her temple a million times. And she let me.
I have no idea what I said. That I missed her and that I loved her and that I was her Mama. Rob was right there at my shoulder and we were in our own little world. I was completely oblivious to the goat (AKA lunch), being prepared in the courtyard. I was oblivious to everything.
I don't know how to explain the fact that Sitota came right to me. Maybe the nannies bribed her. Maybe she thought I was someone else. Maybe... well, I don't know. But she couldn't have remembered me from nearly 2 years earlier. It couldn't have been a sweeter moment. Burned into my memory, for sure.
Soon after, we offered her the cute little doll and baby blanket we'd brought for her- but she pushed it aside. We brought out the photo album we made for her. Page by page we went through. Pictures of me of Rob of the 3 sibling punks. Pictures of me holding Sitota when she was only 11 months old. We went through them time after time. She ran to show her friends. She looked with the nannies. She wouldn't put it down.
She was friendlier with me than with Rob that 1st day. She was fairly cautious. The nannies wanted so much to encourage the bond that they bribed her. "Give your Mama a hug and I'll give you some candy." Bless them, they wanted to be helpful. We were able to assure them that we were 100% ok with her hesitancy. We tried to be careful not to push her, and we drank in what she was willing to give. We were just so happy to be together.
I think that night we went out for a traditional Ethiopian dinner. I think we skyped with the 3 kids at home. It was a near perfect day, goat and all.
I know I didn't sleep much anticipating our court appointment the following morning, and replaying every interaction with my daughter.
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